Never a dull moment
Last weekend, Scott went to Arizona with Paul on a photo shoot for the weekend. So it was just me and the two-year-old. Kinda like a bad episode from a sitcom, where my role would normally be played by the dad that works all the time and has no clue about kids but is suddenly left alone with one. Kinda like last week when I had to take Jake to the doctor:
Doctor: How long has he been sick?
Me: Ummmm... since last time he was here?
Doctor: And he's on amoxycillin?
Me: It's definitely pink. And smells like bubblegum.
Doctor: And he's taking it twice a day?
Me: Not sure - I think so.
Anyway, Saturday morning was that kind of clueless-ness plus Jake's natural mischeviousness magnified. He kept taking his pants and diaper off and disappearing into a little tent we have for him in the living room. Having some “private time” but announcing it: “I take off diaper, mommy! Moooooooooommmmyyyyyyy, I take off diaper!” Several times, I retrieved the pants and diaper and replaced them.
A friend stopped by to drop something off and Jake went to hide in his tent again. Just as she went out the door, I heard, “Uh oh! Ow! All wet!” Darned if he didn’t pee all over the inside of the tent, then fall down in it, then run through the living room tracking pee all over the wood floors. Not kidding.
So I stuck him in the bathtub to contain the mess. Him and his pee-soaked shirt and bare from the waist down. How much trouble can he get into in the tub? I went to clean up the living room. Which, by the way, was covered almost entirely with post-it notes from earlier today when he got into my stash of post-its and covered the room and himself.
When I got back to the bathroom, he was pooring body wash on his hair and rubbing it in: “Mommy – I wash hair!” At least he wasn’t shaving his head, right? I hosed him down. Got him dressed. Usually he insists on wearing his “tractor shoes,” which are sneakers with a picture of a tractor on the sides. But he saw his black patent leather shoes and today he just had to wear his “tap shoes.” And from the moment I put on those shiny shoes, he couldn’t stop dancing. Khaki shorts, blue t-shirt, white socks, and dress shoes. Sigh.
We had something to eat, then went downtown for a couple of errands. We stopped at my friend’s scrapbook store and it was super-crowded. Of course, Jake escaped from me and ran up and down the aisles screaming at a high pitch. I quickly piled my would-be purchases behind the counter and promised to come back later. We stopped briefly at Cat’s to terrorize her customers as well.
He fell asleep on the 1.5 mile drive home (how is this possible?) and slept for 3 hours. What a relief. But woke up full of energy and ready to take on the world. The afternoon’s only disaster was that I left my coke unattended, so he dumped it on the brand new leather couch. Sigh. At least we got leather and not fabric this time. Another trip to the bathroom. Another hose-down.
Doctor: How long has he been sick?
Me: Ummmm... since last time he was here?
Doctor: And he's on amoxycillin?
Me: It's definitely pink. And smells like bubblegum.
Doctor: And he's taking it twice a day?
Me: Not sure - I think so.
Anyway, Saturday morning was that kind of clueless-ness plus Jake's natural mischeviousness magnified. He kept taking his pants and diaper off and disappearing into a little tent we have for him in the living room. Having some “private time” but announcing it: “I take off diaper, mommy! Moooooooooommmmyyyyyyy, I take off diaper!” Several times, I retrieved the pants and diaper and replaced them.
A friend stopped by to drop something off and Jake went to hide in his tent again. Just as she went out the door, I heard, “Uh oh! Ow! All wet!” Darned if he didn’t pee all over the inside of the tent, then fall down in it, then run through the living room tracking pee all over the wood floors. Not kidding.
So I stuck him in the bathtub to contain the mess. Him and his pee-soaked shirt and bare from the waist down. How much trouble can he get into in the tub? I went to clean up the living room. Which, by the way, was covered almost entirely with post-it notes from earlier today when he got into my stash of post-its and covered the room and himself.
When I got back to the bathroom, he was pooring body wash on his hair and rubbing it in: “Mommy – I wash hair!” At least he wasn’t shaving his head, right? I hosed him down. Got him dressed. Usually he insists on wearing his “tractor shoes,” which are sneakers with a picture of a tractor on the sides. But he saw his black patent leather shoes and today he just had to wear his “tap shoes.” And from the moment I put on those shiny shoes, he couldn’t stop dancing. Khaki shorts, blue t-shirt, white socks, and dress shoes. Sigh.
We had something to eat, then went downtown for a couple of errands. We stopped at my friend’s scrapbook store and it was super-crowded. Of course, Jake escaped from me and ran up and down the aisles screaming at a high pitch. I quickly piled my would-be purchases behind the counter and promised to come back later. We stopped briefly at Cat’s to terrorize her customers as well.
He fell asleep on the 1.5 mile drive home (how is this possible?) and slept for 3 hours. What a relief. But woke up full of energy and ready to take on the world. The afternoon’s only disaster was that I left my coke unattended, so he dumped it on the brand new leather couch. Sigh. At least we got leather and not fabric this time. Another trip to the bathroom. Another hose-down.
posted by justjohanna at 8:11 PM
1 Comments:
What a cutie! I love the whole tap shoe episode, AND the pee thing! Hilarious. Just picture yourself in 10 or 20 years telling his girlfriend these stories:]
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